What I Learnt From My Marshmallow Baby Niece

What I Learnt From My Marshmallow Baby Niece

Hey guys, that’s me and a baby polar bear just hanging out exchanging cuddles and pappis.

So, my baby niece came into the world back in February and changed our family’s lives (really, it’s insane what she’s doing to us emotionally on a daily basis). I spent about a month with her, just hanging out, discussing life challenges as a baby (I mean, being this cute can be exhausting). Between diaper changes and practicing self-restraint to not eat her laddoo face for breakfast, lunch or dinner, I was surprised to learn something from her at a time when she was all but a few days old.

So basically baby ras malai came into this world and just started doing her thing. Despite being the tiniest human in the room at any given point in time, she was the freest out of us all. When she wanted to be fed, there was nothing you could do to stop that from happening. When she didn’t want to be fed, there was nothing you could do to make her have some more (a baby’s clenched jaw needs a superhero movie of its own). One day she was hanging out in my lap and I looked at her unapologetic, little jalebi face and realized how this tiny thing had a mind of her own and when she didn’t want things a certain way, they didn’t happen. It was her life and she wanted it her way.

And then I thought about it and suddenly realised that while we talk a big game about learning to be independent and taking charge of our lives to combat all the crazy out there – we’re all naturally born with this remarkable and fierce independence of spirit anyway. There’s no shame, no second-guessing, no confusion attached to wanting life a certain way. As babies, we’re badass. It’s our life, on our terms. We lose this spirit as we grow older – understandably because we’re young and impressionable and get conditioned for years to serve the requests of the society first and then ourselves. If we’re lucky, we might get raised in a fabulously individualistic environment and never lose that spirit.

But a lot of us do.

It’s inevitable and it’s okay to not blame anyone, but you know what, that only until a certain age. What that number is, it depends on you, your ecosystem, your relationships, your courage. But when it’s time, it’s so important to regain that independence of spirit and go back to living life for yourself – not begin something new but just go back to it. There shouldn’t be any fear of treading new ground, we’ve all been there, done that. Do things when you want to do them, how you want to do them. Be single, be married on your terms. Work or no work to your call. Say no when it’s unfair to say yes. Be unapologetic. To others and yourself. Live your own life and not your mother’s or chachi’s or parosi’s or friend’s. Be comfortable with your choices and ignore the ones uncomfortable with yours. Your life, your terms.

It’s not easy living your life, sure. But it’s not easy living someone else’s life either, yes? (Also, as scientifically proven in aforementioned sentences, tiny babies all over the world are doing it and totally kicking ass at it, so, like…).


  1. What an amazing, amazing, amazing post, you beautiful person! What I have learnt from you is to look at the ordinary things extraordinarily! You see meaning in the small things, I am your biggest fan! Thank you for sharing this!

  2. Love this <3 as children we are SO free and so independent it is important to grow up with that idea – there's a quote by Albert Camus which I find really inspiring "The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

  3. Awesome post…thanks
    So many things we unlearn while growing up and limit ourselves.
    One such example I read about was how when you ask a grown-up to draw a sky. It is 90% of the time always blue….and trees are green.

    Whereas kids would draw red and orange skies and trees……which Btw do exist 🙂

  4. Awww yaar, babies are the cutest. The littlest of things makes them happy. Someone making a silly face, or playing peekaboo. They are free and independent in SO many ways MashAllah.

  5. Wow shehzeen u rocked it! Totally loved every bit of it; we should not change ourselves to please anyone. The world is thankless and is not going to be happy in any way no matter what you do so just let them be and be yourself 🙂

  6. Very wordsworth-ian philosophy wrapped in the modern life’s challenges! Good one

  7. Loved reading it 😀

  8. This was beautiful and such a light-hearted way to convey an issue of paramount importance. Having a child is teaching me so much about going back to the basics and living life by my rules that it is genuinely giving me the courage to break out of stereotypes ( toddler tantrums are no joke I tell you ) and take ownership of the kind of life I want to lead.
    Love how you can find so much inspiration from a laddo face 😀

  9. Nice post! Reminds me of the quote “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticised anyway” … Your niece is a munchkin btw. Enjoy this phase. Am currently going through that phase of ‘looking upto’ my nieces n nephews as they’re suddenly taller than me now 😁. I’ll see if I can still fit them into the polar bear outfit .. 😁

  10. Very thought inducing post. You are slowly and surely becoming my favorite blogger and this is coming from someone who is a self-proclaimed blog reading ninja. Love your relatable posts and awesome take on life. Not embarrassed to say that I have started checking snapchat now only to see what you’re up to, though that does make me sound super stalker-ish. What can I say, I’m a fan. Lots of love. <3

  11. Gone crazy on this post.. one of my absolute fsvoritesss just lovveee it.. u r gifted

  12. Couldn’t have been said any better!

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