3 Years Of The Desi Wonder Woman: Things I've Learnt From Blogging

Thursday, June 30, 2016 The Desi Wonder Woman 93 Comments

Warning: This is long.

Secondary Warning: It's way too long.

I have been seriously blogging now for three years and some time ago decided that July 1 should be the official blog anniversary date (it's tomorrow, yas). I've grown so much with this blog - technically, emotionally, spiritually, (physically? the evil that is food reviews) - and along the way have learnt some things that I thought I'd share. So here are 9 odd things I've learnt from blogging that have permeated into even my offline life and that I now value exceptionally (split up by some images from last year to break up my rambling).

1. It's not all about you. I get at least one incredible email/message/comment about the blog or myself every single day (no bragging intents, acha). These messages are heartwarming, generous and it's impossible to have a bad day with this kind of stuff coming your way. Rather than letting it only be about myself (I naturally feel proud of myself and my work) it always hits me how fantastic it is for someone to be in such a place where they can compliment another person so selflessly. It takes someone with a full heart to send such generous messages and this fact actually, truly warms my soul. It's not just about me, it's about that person too. It's also so gratifying to know that there are people like that in this world. I'm one of those who believe every thing is connected and just having great people in your immediate circle is not enough, we need them everywhere. A stranger may be kind to my parent which is worth everything to me, someone thousands of miles away may expedite an application that improves a loved one's life - it's all so necessary and with every kind message I read, I'll do it for a second, but I'll always reflect on this.



2. Pay it forward. Referring again to the point above, I've learnt that anything good that happens to you has to be paid forward. I'll read something that makes my day and I feel it's my responsibility to another person to make them feel that way. Help a stranger pick something up, buy someone a cool drink in the heat, even a smile can help sometimes. And while doing something for a stranger feels more tangible because it's out of the ordinary, I also try to reapply the same to N. He's my family and being kind to him on an everyday basis is paying it forward just as much. So I remind myself to do that as much as I can every single day.


3. Understand your beauty. A part of my work has to do with showing my face. Since I'll take pictures when I feel like I'm looking my best like we all do, I'll naturally look good in photographs then, like we all do. All you need is some lipstick and a warm smile. But it's important to subtract vanity from the compliments you receive on your physical appearance and be grateful for them on a more macro level. I have beautiful skin because it's disease free. I have beautiful eyes because I can see incredible things in the world with them - like new countries, like the faces of my family. Beauty is not actual physical features but the functionality that your body gives you and you always have to remember that. Never once in my life have I ever looked at anyone and thought a facial feature of theirs is 'unfortunate' - big nose, small nose, large lips, thin lips - it all looks good if you love your 'beauty' for what it does for you.


4. Do your part. Some people will read my blog and bring me up. Some will bring me down. While I don't endorse accepting any kind of bad behavior at all (I don't agree when people say ignore it) because if someone is dishing out the mean to you, they're probably doing the same to other people around them and most probably also raising children with such thoughts, which is just terrible. But I feel with the kind of person I have become over the years, I have the strength in me to get shitty comments and not let them overpower me. Which is why I always get back to someone who writes me something nasty or condescending  (if I've read it) with kindness (sometimes humor if I'm feeling the nice kind of evil). When people approach you in unpleasant ways, there is something else in their lives manifesting itself in the form of a nasty comment. Most of us do it on a much milder/nicer level when we have a bad day at work and take our frustration out on a spouse (nasty comments don't compare to such behavior but take it as an example). A gentle comment may change their approach, it may not. But I feel like those of us who can, should do our part. It's not everyone's strength to take bullshit with a pinch of salt (I have weaknesses that I know other people in the world compensate me for) and because I can do it, I should.


5. Understand the full picture. I am aware that I have talent and that my work is a success (I'm not one for chasing numbers and I feel successful when I'm happy so I thought I was successful even when I started the blog, lulz). When someone compliments me or when I deliver on a project that I've executed well, I am proud of myself. But I have learnt to remind myself that a part of my success in the world has been gifted to me and it's not entirely owned by me. I'm not denying the importance of working hard or honing your talents so you can exploit them to the max - there's no substitute for that. But I'm also grateful that I was born with a healthy and intelligent mind that can imagine and visualise. I'm grateful for a fully functioning body so any work that comes my way is contingent only on whether I want to take it and not on any physical incapacity. My IQ, my support network, people who'll read the blog, people who'll give me work, services like online ads that contribute to my income, apps that make projects possible, everything works together. I know people say that you can do anything on your own - but it's important to remember that while that's true for your own physical effort, there needs to be a gentle acceptance of how our physical capacities and our community are indispensable parts of it. I have learnt to balance pride for myself and gratitude for my tangible and intangible blessings because to me they're mutually inclusive.


6. Learn from everyone. Everyone's special in their own way. Everyone has something you can learn from. Just because someone is different from you, doesn't mean they're less intelligent or don't have more character than you. Always be open, always listen. As long as no one's being hurtful, condescending or overly intrusive, be humble about accepting advice or comments.

7. Be nice to other women. Support and encourage. Love and accept. Women in our society are often not just disadvantaged by men but other women too. Respect everyone. Particularly all means of work - of the high-flying corporate career woman to the stay-at-home mom - they're all making our world a better place and we all deserve each other's respect.

8. Be humble. Having a large readership doesn't put you on a pedestal, just allows you more power to impact things positively. It's a privilege if people respect your opinion. Value it. I refrain from calling my readers, my 'followers' (unless I'm in a business meeting where that's the going jargon) because the words you use are the world you create for yourself - practice humility in speech and it becomes a part of you. I also stay away from calling it 'my' blog in posts (I usually say 'the' blog) because while I do solely write it, I don't see it operating independently if I didn't have you guys.

9. It's the small things. You don't have to change the world. If you can make someone smile - whether that's a complete stranger or your own child - you're doing okay.

Happy blog anniversary to me and everyone who loves the blog. Thanks for making all of this possible and turning this from just a simple website into a rewarding experience. Love.

Note: The blog's 3rd anniversary giveaway is LIVE, is worth $3500 and is running for Pakistan and UAE until July 3rd, 11:59 PM GST! Enter right now if you haven't already. Here's the link.

93 comments :

  1. Chalo jee. If I didn't love you enough, you went ahead and did this post. I couldn't wait even though you said it's long and I'm so glad I ignored work and went through this. I feel so inspired on so many levels. You're the perfect person honestly. Happy anniversary!

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  2. It's unbelievable how much I love this post. Thank you for this.

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  3. I actually cried when I read this post. Especially the part about beauty. I am very conscious of my looks and social media does make me envious at times. I feel so shaken by your definition of beauty. I will remind myself to be more grateful for what I have. Too chicken to sign with my own name.

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    1. Sorry to butt in but I just wanna give you a warm tight hug, I can relate to you because I have been through or rather I am going through the same thing! :)

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    2. Oh man. Group hug, you guys. Everyone thinks they look shit on some days heh, but overall it's best to learn to love yourself and be happy and confident about your own features - no one else has them!

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  4. Happy blog Anniversary. Life is all about learning , you learn when you succeed and you learn when you lose.
    Your blog had been my favourite. You have so far done a great job! HATSOFF DESI CHARISMATIC AURAT!

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  5. Happy Anniversary wonderwoman! Ive seen this blog evolve mashaAllah!

    Youve been always a very down to earth person and im so glad despite all the fame, u r still the genuine person !

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  6. So I just gone through each and every line and it made me love and respect you even more. Your positivity always attracts me. Ma Sha Allah you are blessed with a heart of gold and it shines like anything. I wish you and your blof prosper more and more. so wishing you with loads of love a happy anniversary shehzeen aapa. stay the way you are.. Cool and charming. now last but not the least lots of jazbati chummissss for you 😘😘😘😘😘

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  7. This post speaks volumes... honestly shehzeen you're such a warm and humble person and this blog is the outlook of who you are... so it's pretty kick assπŸ˜‰ stay blessed and continue to grow πŸ˜‡

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  8. Beauty has become tangible!!! After reading the definition above it has become obtainable. We are all beautiful women!!! Yay Shehzeen

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  9. You. Are. The. Best! πŸ˜™
    Such a lovely post. Congrats on the blog anniversary. May you have many many more 😊

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    1. Thank you, you've been reading since so long, lots of loveeee

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  10. Happy anniversary and many many more to go inshaAllah
    You write so perfectly ,
    All the best girl !!
    It was lovely reading thissss

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  11. I am proud to be your mother
    Allah always keep u happy with Nabeel

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  12. Long but totally worth it. I found the humble part the best. Love

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  13. That's how you grow πŸ‘πŸ» By lifting people up .. I have started following you 1 or2 weeks ago and I found you so positive and respectful and Good towards others .. You may have flaws but who cares when you have 99 good qualities and 1 bad .. All you do is spread love and smile by your work ❤️ Have many many successful and happy years ahead πŸ’• Stay blessed lovely 😘😘 I wana kiss you coz your face is sucha pure beauty πŸ™ˆπŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

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  14. Happy blog anniversary Wonder Woman ❤️ It was nice reading this 😊
    You're one gem of a persons shehzeen😘
    May you get the best of everything in life!! (Aameen)
    You and N are couple goals MashaaAllah πŸ’•

    Pappissss & jhappisssss shehzeen 😘😘😘

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  15. Happy blog-a-versary Shehzeen! The words truly spoke to me. I respect and really look up to the morals and values that have moulded you into this person because I can tell those words came straight from the heart. Success comes to those who work hard and are humble, and it shows when it comes to your blog. May you and 'the' blog prosper.

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  16. Happy 3rd Blog Anniversary! Totally agree w/all the points in this post especially # 2. Because I am such a book nerd, I have to ask: what's the book in photo #4? Best wishes and congrats. I hope to read it for many more years. Saima in Texas

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  17. happy blog anniversary to u and al of us ( ur readers).v al learn many things from ppl around us...u r so right...the v imp nd the most special thing about ur blog is dat it cums from ur heart...dats y it touches our heart.may v al celebrate many anniversaries of dww !!!!

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  18. happy blog anniversary shehzeen! this was such a heart-touching post! you are so humble and down to earth which adds to the awesomeness of your blog! I remember when I had been following you for a while and you were in pak for your brothers weddings, that was the first time I directly messaged you and I was so surprised to hear back from you right away! I didn't have such response from bloggers before so I was kinda mind boggled like okay so famous people do respond to you! and I instantly fell in love with you ❤ thankyou for the blog, it's a good dose of entertainment for a stay-at-home mom like me! we all owe you!!

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    1. Thank you for such a sweet comment! You guys make the blog honestly!

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  19. Congratulation Shehzeen for completing three years in the blogging world! :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and the truly did speak to me. Keep up the good work and good luck w future! <3

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  20. Shehzeen. This post made me happy that I am a regular to your blog. Love and good wishes. :*

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  21. Happy Blog Anniversary ❤️
    I have learnt so much from you in past one year
    You have lifted me up when i was down.
    I have giggled and chuckled while reading your posts.
    May you prosper into more wonderful woman and hats off to the parents who have nurtured such values in you.

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    1. Your comment is absolute love. Thank you <3

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  22. happy blog anniversary to u and al of us ( ur readers).v al learn many things from ppl around us...u r so right...the v imp nd the most special thing about ur blog is dat it cums from ur heart...dats y it touches our heart.may v al celebrate many anniversaries of dww !!!!

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  23. Congratulationss lovely :*
    Such an amazing post. You're adorable. MashaAllah!! Happy 3 yearss. Stay lovely and blessed! Dhair saariii duain for future. Keep up the good stuff coming. Kudos to our Wonder woman. Lots of love from Uae ❤️

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  24. You probably already know this but I'm reminding you that you make many readers smile, myself included. Congratulations on making it this far. You deserve this and more!
    - Hareem

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  25. Happy blog anniversary! You're one of my favourite bloggers. You're amaaazziinnggg! Love.❤❤❤

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  26. Happy blog anniversary wonder woman! πŸ’œ

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  27. Happy blog anniversary! :D I've been following your blog from last six months, found you humble and optimistic. You are a Wonder Woman-no doubt !Way to go!

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  28. High five to u dww. This one was crazy aala

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  29. I've never commented on any blog but YOU made me do that you're just awesome man <3 Best blogger I've ever seen lots and lots of best wishes for you <3

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  30. Happy anniversary desiwonderwoman blog.
    Iam not a very reading type person but since I started following you, Iam in love with your writing,your style & your humble nature.
    You know it feels so good when the person you follow comments back :)
    Keep up the good work.
    You are great :)

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  31. Happy anniversary to dww. I wish to be your companion for the uncountable number of years to come. I agree with all the points you mentioned and with every post of yours you gain more respect and love from me.

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    1. I hope you keep reading for many years too! <3

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  32. You inspired me alot shehzeen...best blogger and hey i send you an email.plx read .maira khan

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  33. You are love !!! n u r a pyari inspiration to ppl around u .. N hope u always will be :* *hugs hugs n hugs*

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  34. I came across your blog a couple of days ago and truly loved it! Ib te day and age when there are a gazillion bloggers and it is no small feat to stand out. And you truly do:) I have an attention disorder I guess coz I don't get hooked on anything for too long. But girl, you got my attention :) keep blogging and inspiring:)


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  35. Such a lovely post πŸ‘πŸ»
    Kese krleti hain yr ap itni achi baaten πŸ˜„
    Well jokes apart but I loved the "understanding your beauty" part

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  36. It has been only 3 years? Wow you have done really, really well in a very short time. I dont know why I thought it was 7 years :O. But that doesnt matter... you are really inspiring in every way. And today you won my heart all over again with your point 7..."Women in our society are often not just disadvantaged by men but other women too. Respect everyone"

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  37. I loved this so much I read it twice, once when it was published and once before going to bed. And like your "Single homes" post I will keep coming back to this forever and ever. The supporting women point is so close to my heart it felt like you were in my head. And about the beauty post, we are so grateful you change the blogosphere by putting your face out there, and show that beauty comes in all colors, hair lengths and sizes. Thank you so much for the blog and for being so engaging and no matter what, you have certainly changed the world for us.

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  38. Happy blog anniversary dost! The post made me miss hanging out with u. *little tears of sadness*

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  39. yar it want that long believe me i have heard n read more babblings than this n totally worth the time as my sis once said dear positive n negative energies do exist so associate with postive ppl n yeah amidst these blogs n friends i find so much more than just info a kind of glow that radiates from within love begets love no doubt good to kno u more n more n lovin ya

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  40. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I have to confess that ever since I have been following your blog and snapchat I have helped myself become a much better person. I had a complex that I was not enough, not beautiful enough, not classy enough and coming to this blog literally every day with every post has made my life better. I think I have gained from the clarity you project in your lifestyle. Its not about what you eat and review or hair and stuff, its how you deal with negativity which has taught me a lot and I have started jettison-ing my baggage of discomfort, low self esteem, negativity and inadequacies. Love you, you are changing lives with this thing. Mwaaah .

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    1. Your truly comment made my day. I value it so much. Lots of love.

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  41. You just never fail to inspire :') Absolutely heart-warming. I love youu

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  42. Keep up the good work Shehzeen. you have a long long way to go. INSHALLAH! May God bless you!

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  43. I feel so happy when I'm done reading this piece.
    I had been writing for so long myself, but the things you've written here are just wow, eye-opening. And you're so right, it's so important to keep a check on the people around you, and be kind and humble go them.
    And indeed, this blog rocks πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ’“

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  44. I loved this post. I have a question. It ain't easy to make yourself public. It includes good and not-so-good things. Where do you find your strength from? -MBS

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