How To Be The In-Laws

Thursday, January 21, 2016 The Desi Wonder Woman 79 Comments

More specifically, how to be the in-laws...from the guy's side. (IT'S A LONG ONE. GET COFFEE NOW).

Ours has been mostly a female family. 75% of us are women with one brother in the mix, and nobody's wedding has pulled anyone into our parents' house....till now. You hear so much from friends, acquaintances, even random stories of people you don't even know, where the new girl in the house, (or the new girl in the family, if the couple are living separately), gets to be the one to do the major adjustment. In my idealistic bubble where I want to imagine that it should be equal adjustment for both the genders, it feels uncomfortable to register that that isn't always true. But the reality is that most girls do have to work towards fitting in (on which I have a ton of opinions but that's for another day).

So with the brother getting married, I decided I'd imagine all kinds of scenarios based on experience/conversations with friends or strangers/general observation and develop a set of instructions that I can remember and personally take care of with respect to his wife (because so much of the misunderstandings can sometimes even be rooted in actions committed as a force of habit). And of course, I wrote these down because I wanted new in-laws from-the-guy's-side to have a run-through too, kind of like a borderline public service announcement.

In no way do I feel it applies to every situation or that no one does it and here I am with the revolution AYYYAAHHHHHH, but just something that's good-to-remember, good-to-execute and good-to-take-in-the-right-spirit. (I have a strange sense of feeling that I might get some kind of hate for this post, but this cookie that I'm having is so freaking good, I'm finding it every hard to care at this point). Let's go?

1. Give space. It's always best to live in separate houses because that's truly what breeds the best relationships, between the couple and the girl & in-laws (a decision religiously preferred as well). But that may not be possible for everyone so if you're living together, give space.

2. Don't tell her what clothes to wear or what makeup to use. Let her dress herself, pretty sure her parents' weren't dressing her before getting married, right.

3. Don't tell her how to do stuff in her space. Let her do things the way she wants to. If she leaves her shoes all over the place or does lab experiments under her bed, that shouldn't give you a fever. If you feel her room's messy, clean your own room because that's as far as your territory goes (probably stop the lab experiments...).

4. Don't expect the girl to hang out with you every single day. If it's different house portions/separate houses, don't complain if you don't see her for days. Everyone has their own life. Don't make someone do stuff under pressure. Any gesture should be a product of love. (If I told you the number of times I talk to my mother-in-law in a year, you'd freak out so I'm not going to, but interacting less doesn't mean you're on a cold war. My mother-in-law has NEVER complained and I love that about her).

5. Don't imagine her personality to be exactly what it is during the first couple of months. Everyone is on their best behavior initially. She'll hang out with you more, be nicer than she would be to anyone else, but that's not her actual personality....just like it's not yours. Real life comes into action after a few weeks and everyone gets busy with their lives. Don't expect her or the couple to be your best buddies all the time or to be smiling and cooperating 24/7.

6. Don't box the person based on a random interaction. Everyone has a bad day. Everyone has a day when they don't want to interact with anyone or pretend to be nice and just generally want to be in a shit mood. If you catch her in a bad mood, don't take it personally and don't share with your other siblings with the speed of light (but if it's a regular occurrence, feel free to imagine her as the spawn of the devil. Haha? No? Ok.).

7. If she doesn't know how to cook (and I can't even believe I'm typing this), don't expect her to learn. If food was getting cooked at your house before the wedding, then it can continue to be done the same way. You should definitely split chores between everyone but then dish them out to your brother/son as well (if he wasn't already doing them before).

8. If she's trying something new, don't stand over her shoulder and watch. Make her feel like you're not there so she can feel free to make mistakes. A bad purchase for the home, a food recipe that she got messed up, anything else that she could do freely at her own place. Let both of them breathe and feel like they can do their own disasters without any silent judgment.

9. If she's working, don't comment on her staying late at work. If she's staying at home, don't comment on her staying up all night/sleeping in late. If she's not the one responsible for administering life saving drugs to anyone in your family, let her plan her own schedule.

10. If she's a working girl, she should have the exact amount of house chores assigned to her after work, as your son/brother. If your son's relaxing on the couch after work, so should she. There's nothing wrong with making chai for your daughter/sister-in-law everyday if you're a stay-at-home person. If the entire household has jobs or has stay-at-home moms with kids to manage, everyone should split responsibilities. No girl should come home from work or after a full day of managing her kids and make rotis if the husband or other family members are not helping out...equally.

11. If everyone's living in the same house, and the couple's heading out for, let's say, weekend plans, don't ask every single time where they're going and when they'll be back. Tell them to have a good time and then just stop right there.

12. Don't tell her you've been seeing your grandchild/nephew's face in your dreams and ask her to make those dreams come true. If you're dying to know when they'll produce their own offspring, ask your son. In private. Ideally, don't ask at all, because someone may not be capable of having kids or just not want kids at all, but if your life depends on it, ask your own blood. I've been married 4 and half a years and my mother-in-law (or sisters-in-law) haven't asked me ONCE when I'm having kids; I love that.

13. And if the baby comes, let them name their own child. If you want to name something desperately, get a puppy. 

14. Compliment her. Even if her taste in style or food or home decor is not what you like. Compliment her.

15. Tell your brother to compliment her. Guys are slow, they need instructions.

16. If you're living in the same house, give respect to that person when making plans. If you share certain areas like a guest room or living area, check before having anyone over so you know if someone is visiting from their end and you don't crash their party.

17. If you're living in the same house, don't just walk into their space, especially if they're not around, just because it used to be your place at one time. If you wouldn't like someone going through your room/stuff when you're not around, don't do the same yourself, no matter how comfortable it feels.

18. If you're the sister and not living in the same house, but visiting your parents house for example, mention before coming, if a space is shared like a living room/kitchen and you've made plans to majorly occupy that.

19. If you're not living in the same house and visiting the couple in another city or country, don't crash their house without asking. In fact, ask both of them, particularly if the girl is not working. Because she'll be the one entertaining you in all probability and you need to ask her permission to come to her house. My husband always says his mother taught him that the couple's house is primarily the girl's house after getting married. I love that he knows this and always repeats it.

20. And if you're doing point #9 above, help out with the chores, especially if there's no house help. Your vacation should not become a buttsore for the couple.

21. Don't bitch about her to your brother or son, especially during the first few weeks. Everyone's adjusting, everyone's getting used to personalities. Let the dust settle.

22. If your brother or son changes in any way, after getting married, that you don't like, it's all on him. He's an adult (hopefully), capable of making decisions and understanding the world. I can't tell you the number of times I've cringed at hearing so many people say about their daughters/sisters-in-law "she's manipulating him" and "he's stupid, so he can't tell". No. He's not stupid. He knows what he's doing. Don't just blame the girl.

23. Don't interfere in their arguments/fights, unless the couple asks you for help. 

24. If your brother/son ever shouts at her/expresses some kind of displeasure in front of other people, make him feel like dogshit. He can't do that and you need to be the first person to tell him this. 

25. Sharing a space with anyone, ANYONE, will get on your nerves. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with that person or yourself. I'd hate even my best friend if I had to live with her all the time and I LOVE HER. So get annoyed and move on. It's going to be a part of life.

26. You don't have to love her. You just have to get along to be able to peacefully enjoy stuff together. If you do end up loving her, nothing could be better than that. But let's say that that's not happening, because sometimes people don't click, it's not the end of the world. She's not your wife. Accept that and move on. All of us hate our colleagues and yet end up spending the entire day with them without any fatalities so this should be possible.

27. Be happy for your sibling/son. If there's a person who makes him happy, that needs to be IT for you. Everyone deserves a loving relationship and if your family member has managed to find that, be happy for them.

28. Remember that having a new person in your brother or son's life does not mean that he's going to love you any less. Love is the only emotion that has the fantastic ability to multiply exponentially. It's ridiculous to imagine otherwise. If you ever end up feeling jealous, remind yourself that having a spouse never made you love your siblings or parents any less; it doesn't work that way so chill. 


Now that all of that's written down, I'm going to grab a mojito and pretend to implement some of that. Join me, okay.

79 comments :

  1. I love your mind. You are so well-rounded. I read your blog and the thing I aspire for the most out of everything you post about is to have a mind like yours. You are so mature and have such amazing thoughts. You are my role model. Thank you for writing such genuine posts always. Lots of love as always.

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  2. Love this post! This should be a manual handed out to all families getting married! Amazing read!

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  3. This is basically PERFECT. Marriage should ideally be fun and a place to grow, in love and respect. Thank you for this list Shehzeen!

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  4. "Guys, are slow. They need instructions".
    God,shehzeen you are the BEST.
    Such a timely article considering so many weddings happened this season.

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  5. Love this article. It's the best. Agree with S about this being a manual handed out with the nikkah :P
    On another note, glad to see that my mum in law got this manual when i got married, just missing a few tiny points. Hehe

    - Maheen A

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  6. Love this post, n hugs to you for writing it

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  7. OMG ! Couldn't have written a better post. I adore you for this. Now only if we could actually implement this as well. I guess, the first step is to start by doing it ourselves. :)

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  8. very very true.... if only everyone understood. but you have to admit that the guy is also under a lot of pressure trying to adjust to his new married life especially if he is living with in a joint family. in this scenario the pressure from his mother and sisters and brothers and relatives etc is sometimes too much to handle... mostly everyone thinks that since the new girl has come they can just withdraw from everything and its the brides responsibility to manage the kitchen. not the finances.. that is a no go area... just the kitchen.. and when the girl does not exceed expectations who has to hear the complains.. the guy.. :) so 50% sympathies for the guys as well...

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  9. I loved it I read it all, mostly I just ignore reading the whole thing but really if people start thinking like this in pak homes would be more peaceful giving space to each other is very very important wheather ur in the same house or not staying out of each others way sometimes leads to a healthier relationship rather than interfering in every step of life...I wanna write so much but really all is beautifully said thanks

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  10. I can't begin to tell you how much I loved every bit of it. I've been through most of the pointers and still going through some. Handing out the manual is a brilliant idea! :)

    Love your blog!

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  11. Excellent article ,Very well described👍

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  12. Shehzeen you deserve a pappi on this article from me :* being a newly married person, I can totally relate to each and every point of yours.

    an open kitchen and point number 8 are the perfect recipe of disaster. I tend to screw up even the recipes I have been cooking for years when somebody is around me watching what I'm doing :p

    The thing I actually miss the most is being in a dont-talk-to-me mode after coming back from work, but then you are a bahu and you are supposed to be 'NICEEEEE' :(

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    1. I love this post of yours as simple as that. And I should not complain as I have a beautiful life MashaAllah sa :-)

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  14. Brilliant piece of writing. And what touchy issues you have covered so thoroughly. I guess im gonna be a regular follower now. Cheers :-)

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  15. Great read. Recently got married and I agree with every single point made. The guy above who commented saying 'the kitchen is the girl's responsibility' I mean why? Just why? Like it's written in the article, household chores should be equally distributed between people living in the house, not just women, we can go out and do the same amount of work as men, so why can't they do the same amount of work in the house too? Oh well, rant over. I think the desi wonder woman has summed up every newlyweds' thoughts pretty well

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  16. eagerly waiting for the author to write on " how to be in your in Laws" or ''How to be a good wife" I am sure no one is going to write anything on that.

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  17. agar yeh batien larkian apne abbu ko bata dein tou itni blogging ki noubat hi na aye !!

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  18. If my husband and in-laws would have followed any of these, I wouldn't had a divorce. I compromised for 4 years, no one care about me, but when I asked for my basic rights,i got divorce. People should learn to behave well with wife/ daughter-in-law. Btw it was really great reading it. Hats-off

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  19. Yes it is a good read n whatever is written in this article,we as a family r literally practicing with our newly married bhabhi..
    But this article clearly says plz do not expect or interfere in sons/bahu's life.this article is practical enough for a nuclear setting or if the couple is living abroad..not very practical for joint families..
    Sorry one doesn't become alienated from family like that..their are expectations attached..if I as a daughter married n living abroad will definitely want my bhabhi to tc of my mother..there see an expectation is attached
    Pls don't mind my English..it was just the flow of opinion.

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    1. Taking care of your mother is not your bhabi's responsibility. It's your responsibility. You should have married closer to your parents' place. The Qur'an says the children are responsible for their parents. Not the children's spouses.

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  20. Brilliant read. You share my sister's name. It was weirdly like reading her writings.

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  21. Perfect! I wish people could understand this.

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  22. thanks for writing,indeed a good read for inlaws ,will be fair if you write up on "how to be a daughter in law" or "how to be a reasonable wife"!!!

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  23. It was a good read though, but I personally believe things work both ways; its a give and take relation. The new girl has to prove her worth so that the in-laws can give her all the space she wants. I am a married woman and totally believe that whatever respect and love I get from my in-laws is due to the importance and respect I gave them. But then it also vary from person to person & situation to situation.

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  24. "If there's a person who makes him happy, that needs to be IT for you. Everyone deserves a loving relationship and if your family member has managed to find that, be happy for them." - That right there was the epitome if it all, to be happy for our loved ones and to seek their happiness not add to their stresses. I've been following your blog for a few years now but commenting for the first time because this post truly warranted a response. Awesome post for the Pakistani community. I've been born and raised in America with pakistani parents and now pakistani in laws for the past 7.5 years of my marriage I've had an excellent relationship with them. Sure things get kinda hairy when they come to visit us for months at a time but its never gotten so bad that we stopped loving or caring for each other. I think everything you wrote was so mature and logical and exactly how I find my own relationship to be with my in laws, its only when we get petty, immature, selfish and let really stupid things get to us that we start messing up these relationships in our lives. I really sincerely hope Pakistan has more like minded people as you and not what they show us on HumTV!! Seriously consider handing this out as a manual at weddings and preach on sista.

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    1. I don't think preaching would help..who are we to preach anyone..everyone has their own life and they know who to manage it..people are educated and sensible enough..its people like us who give free advise and ruin things for others..we should avoid that..

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    2. LOL Preach on is just a phrase. Free unsolicited advice is taken at the readers discretion, if you don't agree with it move on. But if you do agree then praise it and show your appreciation.

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  25. For everyone who is saying that there should be an article on how to be a good bahu/wife etc should consider the fact that it's the girl who has to do the majority of comprises. She is a total stranger in her new home. The in laws on the other hand have always been living in that house with their own rules and ways. The in laws should be taking the first step in making the girl comfortable with them and this post directly hits it. If the in laws behave well, the girl will definitely prove to be a good daughter-in-law; except for the situations where the bahu doesn't want to adjust or be good.
    Cheers!!

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  26. There should be similar manual for both the boy as well as girls.The burden lies in the girl as well.

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  27. Very well written.. And i wish someone can hand it down to my MIL. Although I live in U.S and she is in Pakistan but every visit has some kinda shitty situation happening.. Hate tht. But thn i love her tooo cuz she never stops me from staying at my parents place rather thn at my in-laws. But still.
    Get it translated in urdu and get it printed in some urdu magazine 😜

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  28. Lol...it is really funny to see all the guy comments asking for "how to be a good bahu" or "daughter"...like its a competition and that they got one upped..... "Burn".

    I think it becomes easier to be a "good bahu" when the receiving family also practices the above.

    Secondly, that would be a post for you guys to write..or I should to share what i have learned from my wife on how to be an amazing spouse.

    Maybe we focus on step 1 for now, learn to give before you receive

    - The Husband

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  29. I'm sorry this is completely irrelevant to this post but can I just say that you and your husband are legit couple goals like seriously you guys are awesome. Stay blessed.

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  30. I thk this was easily the bestest post u ever did dww. Arent you phenomenal

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    1. What so phenomenal about a one sided biased post?

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  31. I wish this memo would have reached my inlaws. I went/go through this.. *sigh*

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  32. Excellent read. And while I wholeheartedly agree with every word here I would like to say that the acceptance and being non judgemental has to be practiced by both parties. And I'm not saying this in a preachy kind of way. I got married when I was 19 and now when I look back I realize there's a lot I could have done differently. I didnt have to take on everyone's internal struggles and obsess over them and feel bad about myself. I think most of us lack patience when we're young and we want to make everyone happy very quickly. We make big deals out of trivial things (only because its the inlaws doing them not our own parents).

    Again this is all coming from my own experience and even though I was a super patient and a submissive bahu I feel a little more patience wouldn't hurt us.

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    1. I really appreciate your thoughts sister. Its all about patience and not making big issues out of trivial things. I have seen my Father in law literally yelling at my wife but she doesn't mind but when it comes to my parents, leave aside talking rudely, they are extremely gentle and sweet to her. But even if there is a slightest thing that doesn't align with her thoughts, she would make a big issue out of it. The problem is that she has this image in mind that in laws are villan and this idea is fed by others who are experiencing hostile home environment.

      Guys! Please avoid negative people and be with positive people, it makes a difference.

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  33. AhA!! Glad to see I am not the only one with these thoughts! =) Wonderfully written..
    Sadly I have to go through all the things with my in-laws. I might just post it on my front door Now! Hats off for the brilliant post =)

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  34. Aha! Wonderful piece! Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks like this. Sadly, most people just don't understand or don't want to. I might just post on my front door for my in-laws to SEE, READ and then PROCEED. =D

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  35. Great thoughts! But difficult to implement because of the complex human nature. Sometimes this giving space thing also backfires as "no one is interested in what I do" drama. I have three married brothers mashallah and I enjoy super relationship with my bhabis but one thing that works for one doesnt work for the other! haha ... i think in the end we all just need to be more human and empathetic...

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  36. Amazing comments by the couple of guys who managed to read it through and post something. Misogyny is too deeply ingrained here. Sigh

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  37. And I see that you need approval to have comments published.... Wonder what kind of shit you had to reject :P

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  38. Pretty awesome !! Just one more point....in-laws shud not go out of their way to compliment other daughter-in-laws in front of their son.

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  39. and if you allow me: here is an interesting perspective from a mother in law's view

    https://nusratosama.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-mom-in-laws-by-nusrat-osama-posted-on-aug-10-2012/

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  40. Definitely it is very much pertinent to the present times but the same nuances are applicable to the other side that is from daughter in law's side also. It would have been complete if the nature of a newly wedded daughter in law to be adopted at her in law's place, would also have been discussed in your write up. Anyway though these conditions discussed are not universal but are well presented and suitable in many a occasions. Overall it's a good write up

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  41. How about u put an article down from the in-laws perspective too? Why are all daughter in laws protrayed as such victims, we always give such a negative connotation to the in-laws...why really? Surely my parents taught me how to dress, they did not want me looking like a slut, surely they asked me to clean after myself, they did not want me to be a lazy bum! And if they did not then it's their upbringing that lacked, not my in-laws that need lesson. But if I am going to live in someone else's home I also should not expect them to bend the rules for me. Everyone needs to compromise be it the girl or the in-laws! A drastically one sided article written to encourage girls to create problems at home...our religion teaches respect, to be accommodating, to be clean to be well dressed...if we all follow the teachings of our Prophet we don't need such blogs. Thank u!

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    1. With all due respect, in our religion it is the girls right to have a separate living space. The guy is obliged to provide her with it. If he can't provide a separate house, he has to provide a separate kitchen and living area. all of which has to be her domain. So no this article is not encouraging girls to be problematic.

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    2. Someone else's home! Wow!So why should she bother cleaning up a place that is not even hers.

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    3. I agree it one sided article so called women empowerment.

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  42. Amazing. Wish could give this to my MIL and SIL to see..they love poppin up in bedroom at odd times, especially after we've gone to sleep..

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  43. Hey there is one educated sane male in our midst! May there be many more like you.

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  44. Loved your ideas and everybody should understand this before getting a bahu

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  45. Really easy to say/tell hard to implement...if things could be so easy to adopt and imply after marriage life would be heaven.

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  46. I salute you. Your thoughts have brought tears in my eyes.

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  47. Ohhh my my!!! Love you bud for writing this up, it could not be written any better, thanks a ton!! A biiiiggggg hug! ��

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  48. I like it. And by grace of Lord, my in laws fit into this description very well ( almost 90% of it is being practiced though I live in combined family . Come visit my home :) :)

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  49. Loved it.a good read!

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  50. dang. some of the comments on here really provide insight into the incapability of folks to treat the bahu as a human being worthy of her own space lol. my future mum in law always says that both sides should be patient and take time to get to know each other before getting into weird attitude waale problems. I personally feel that these weird aunties/guys demanding how a bahu should behave don't really have a life of their own. In any case, I love your post shehzeen and I'm sure every woman out there wishes she could be treated like this, even if she's a prickly saas herself now.

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  51. Wow. What a whole lot of obvious .. Will the next instalment be how to fry an egg?

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  52. Wonder what shit girls have to put up with their inlaws on daily basis. Growing up in a difficult family, I used to loathe the idea of susraal. But My inlaws Alhamdolilah are the kindest people i've known. They get overjoyed whenever I contribute in the household stuff and it's not a complusion to participate either. We've reached that point where even I get happy doing chores for them :) So Alhamdolilah and mashAllah and may Allah make it easy for all bahus who are in not-so-ideal situation. For everyone who is longing for better days: My mom says, waqt aik jesa nahi rehta.

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  53. I love the way you have summed all of it up so simply and justly. I hope all of us can understand and follow it someday. Lives would be so happy and peaceful.

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  54. Brilliantly put. I wish you could be my mother-in-law! 😁

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  55. Amazing! I wish I could make my in laws read this without having to send this to them haha. So share away people and make it go viral!

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  56. Very good points for all in-laws to keep in mind and practice. Of the 28 points I followed 21 definitely but was doubtful about 7. Having lived with an extraordinarily coercive husband and in-law family I decided to be an ideal mother-in-law. But I forgot that it works two ways. My DIL was brought up on the usual concept about in-laws. She couldn't believe that we wanted her to be happy and were doing all that was possible to make her comfy. Even if I praised someone else for doing something good she thought I was pointing out a fault in her. I just couldn't be myself in her presence. The result is that I live all alone, I can't see my son, his wife or children who I love very much. What can one do for a daughter-in-law who doesn't appreciate ur efforts to be accommodating?

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  57. Awesome read and I hope we are able to teach our sons to be responsible and fair in every relationship. And be able to implement some of the points in the article in our day to day life when the time comes to do so. Giving space and recognizing the solemnity of a husband wife relationship is very important (more so when our own children/family members are involved).

    We should remember that as parents/older family members we not only hold our sons/brothers love but also an emotional connection which translates into a reservation, which keeps them from being firm with us. And as older/more experiences participants in the relationship, the burden is ours to set an example with our actions. We cannot command respect solely based on our seniority and relationship - that is an abuse of the love our kids/brothers have for us.

    I agree with those who say that this is a two way road but we must all remember that at the end of the day we are only responsible for our actions, not of anyone else.
    Great article Shehzeen - keep up the good work!

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  58. U must b kidding desi wonder woman �� i cant stop my laughter after reading this... (dukh k maray) cz i m living in totally opposite situation as u described . Lolz pakistani awam and mentality cant b changed. They married their sons with highly qualified girls...and then treat them like shit...

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  59. I'm a married woman myself and Allah ka shukar never ever have been in a bad situation with my in-laws and we live together. I agree with the space thing but disagree with most of the things here. Ofcourse a woman sud not be suppressed and used as a slave but a woman sud b a woman not a man. Why are we forgetting that the basic duty of a woman is to manage the house and raise kids as mentioned in the quran and the duty of the guy is to provide... (managing the house doesn't Mena that we can't go out or party) Why do we then demand for dividing house chores...that's not his duty.why do we girls want to work and become independent and ask for equal rights when a man or a woman can never b equal ... When in our religion it says the woman is dependent on the man. It is then the responsibility of the man to take care of his women (mother, wife, sister) in all the best possible ways...(i have been working all my life but when my kids were born I left it and gave time to kids when they get mature enough will start work again. Never asked the husband to do house chores and soon coz of my own behavior he stared helping) the question asked from us on the day of judgment won't be how much money we earned and how fashionable we were, but it wud b how we raised and made our family. why do we want to have our own ways right from the first day of marriage? Why can't we respect the elders (mother and father in law) and make them so comfortable that they don't have anything to say to u or complain about. Why can't we wear proper clothes so they don't have to complain about it? Even if u Wana wear jeans the top can b nice and decent....why do we have to wear such high pajamas and sleeveless and fitted clothes that our body is exposed and when someone complains, hold a grudge against them...aren't we Muslims? this was not our dressings...we have changed ourselves like the west so much that we have confused ourselves. We chose what we want from all the religions and cultures. When or parents ask us where r u going when will u be back why can't the in-laws ask us? Why do we mind that? Why can't we answer politely? ...that is on us whether we consider them as parents or not. Why do we want the husband sud give more importance to us thn patents?both r important to him on a different type. Why can't we help the mother in law in the kitchen when we can help our own mother...both are getting old and need help. The daughter is gone to another house why can't the bahu b the new daughter? Well there is a lot to say but the base line is we as women are forgetting our basic role and are in some other race. It's a mutual relationship... The in-laws sudnt complain on pitty things and the girls sudnt mind pitty things...this simple rule keeps the relationship healthy.
    ~mj

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    1. Ms MJ Master of Religion: the Prophet you quote did his own chores. He also gave all of his wives separate living quarters. He also said that it is not the job of the wife to take care of her husband's parents and if she does then she isn't doing him a favour. He also lived with a woman who was rich and supported him. are you done misquoting religion now?

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